Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Non-Alchoholic Donkey Punch

ITP: Slobberhouse complains about safe topics that aren't going to offend anyone since he's a lazy fat nigger that is boring and uncreative, but still way more awesome than you. 

I hate everybody. And I especially hate you (By "You" I mean Johhny Noxville). Nonetheless, of the everybody I hate I must say that half of the P-Pusher Messageboard falls under the guise of particularly strong hate. To put it into perspective, imagine if you were a purple cinderblock made of gorilla biceps drinking cups of coffee, only the coffee was made of racing cars. Sometimes I hate the PPMB eighty-twelve times more than that.

Some other times I pretend that I'm a banana being chased by a mob of midget Ron Jeremies. Sorry, what?

Now it would be all tea and schlongs if anything on the PPMB seemed to ever actually approach the point of non boringosity, but the closest thing to a heated exchange of drama that has happened there since the dawn of time (Circa 1982 AD) is a vaguely vague argument that was vaguely about swearing in posts. While I refuse to soil the sweet air with vile cursing, I have to say that sometimes PPMB's fucking cunt ass members are gay shitbitches. Niggercocks.

This outburst of colorful wordsmithy brings up another thing - what the hell is it with all this overly-friendly, passive-aggressive anal oilslickery that seems to permeate the whole fandom? If you don't like somebody, tell them the rational way - order a mafia hit on their family, burn their house down and run their dog over with an economy car made in france, instead of ranting on behind their backs like a lame-ass sack of dog bones that has a fetish for sexytight boy bodies.

PS: Ham. Delicious.