Sunday, December 30, 2007
Me: Whatever topic i'm talking about
BG: Jak and NNJ should have SEX! (or there abouts)
Me: You obviously have no sex life (or there abouts)
BG: I don't get you, you are so mean and put everybody down. You have no self esteem and you're obviously hiding your feelings behind your attitude. You could have just asked for an apology. I don't get why women think that men even want to have sex with them, I mean, i'm way better than that. Blah Blah Blah black people. (or there abouts)
Me: Uh....right.... cause i wasn't just making a comment about what you said to me to begin with
BG: I just won't talk to you and I'm sorry for existing.
Will somebody get this guy some midol? I don't even know what his problem is with me. It's not like I go out of my way to have any sort of interaction with him and I generally don't even engage him in any sort of conversation unless he addresses me first. He's not on my immediate shit list of "attack on sight", though he's starting to move up. Besides, for somebody who is supposedly ignoring me, he sure talks about me a lot.
His comments don't even bother me. I mean, I know he's just joking. Sometimes I wish he'd vary the joke a little, but whatever, it's not something I'm going to get offended about. There isn't much that even offends me. Except people accusing me of being offended. That offends me. He just seems to be yet another person that can not handle the cynigal. I mean, is there really anybody out there stupid enough to expect me not to respond to any joke or jab at me? Why do people act all surprised and get upset about it. Don't poke the cynigal unless you want to get bitten. I didn't even say anything remotely horrible. It's not like I made jokes about his slutty dumpster baby dumping sister. I don't even know if he has a sister!
He turned a perfectly good xtian bashing into whiny bullshit. So, now instead of bashing the xtians, I have to come here and bash him instead. So really, he's brought this on himself.
In other news, Gamefreak, R Whitely, whoever tried to pass himself off as somebody else on the PPMB today. He chose the name Flameman and immediately posted about his douchy messageboard and claimed that somebody he didn't even know left it to him....hah....god you'd think it being DARIA fandom, the idiots would be weeded out a bit more. Although I do think the ppmb rules about coming back to the board after you've thrown a bitch fit and quit are kinda lame. I mean, if that rule had been in effect from the beginning there wouldn't even be any members on the board left. And it's so much fun to mock those people when they come crawling back.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Greybird no longer has an account on SFMB. Lol? I wonder how long it will take for him to be out of our hair for good.
EDIT: Not long. He doesn't have an account at PPMB anymore either.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Send me an official cease and desist from an actual real live verifiable attorney. Send this to me directly, not through another fan member.
Simply ask me to remove the post and explain why you want it to be removed and if I feel that your reason is valid and you've asked nicely without making any threats than I more than likely will remove it.
If you can't take the heat, don't read the blog.
Don't talk about the DBB.
Bring me shirtless Brad Pitt from Fight Club.
I am also considering making this blog private because I'd like to keep the fucking idiots out. I think it will also cut down on the stupid flames. I never meant for this blog to be an extension of flame wars. I picked the authors because I thought they were all capable of making funny but astute observations about Daria fandom. Anybody could still join the blog, anybody that I recognized anyway, but it would cut out the retarded anonymous comments. Tell me what you think.
There is one thing that I did mean and will not apologize to you for.
The things you said in regards to the tragic events in Thea Zara's life were cavalier and undeservingly hurtful. Given this, I am of the opinion that you're one of the sorriest, lowest forms of life imaginable. I think I can pretty safely speak for a large portion of the community in saying that you are not welcome in this fandom.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Due to a recent legal threat by Greybird, I have removed Cyde’s post until I able to consult with my own lawyer. I really think this is a bunch of BS, however, I’m removing the post simply because I do not have time for this with work and school beginning again soon. Until Deref IMed me I wasn’t even aware of the threat. I’ve been out of the country and so busy with work that quite frankly Daria fandom is really not even on my radar right now and I can’t even recall the last time I have had direct interaction with Greybird. I set up the blog with the warning that it is a place that is not moderated or censored. All in all I have very little to do with this blog besides my own posting on it occasionally. I don’t control what people say on it because I do not care nor do I have the time to do so. I did not make the post and I’m not sure why I should have to apologize for it, and I especially can’t see how an apology made solely because one is being threatened to do so can be at all soothing, but if it will stop this complete nonsense then I deeply and dramatically apologize.
However, I must say that I find this entire thing entirely hypocritical considering what Greybird has said about me in the past and what was posted on the original Daria Fandom Blog about me, a blog where Greybird was a moderator/contributor. I still have copies of what was posted about me there.
So, Greybird, I have complied with your requests until I have time to speak with my own lawyer. From now on, if you have a problem with me, please contact me directly.
For those of you who care, the threat was as follows:
You, NNJ, and Cyde are in a mutual position to remove this legal issue:
~ By you (or Thea) deleting the SFMB post and any quoted portions of it,
your posting a public apology for this on behalf of SFMB, and Cyde making a
full public retraction there of and apology for his post.
~ By NNJ's deleting the DBB post and any quoted portions of it, her posting
a public apology for this on behalf of DBB, and Cyde making a full public
retraction there of and apology for his post.
I hope that you and the others will thus act to make any potential legal
efforts unnecessary, by taking both such actions within the next two days,
by 23 December.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
If you'd like to be a contributor, please drop me a PM at one of the boards and we'll set things up.
Thank you and have a nice day,
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Because of this, I seem to have become this evil overlord whose entire life's agenda is to bring their happy little incestuous orgy and child molestation marathon (have you seen their latest member, "Apollonia" with Ghost "Wolf 359" poised to engage in rape?) to its knees.
Let's try to make a list of the stuff they've come up with about me:
- cyde is the root of all evil.
- cyde is a Mortimer Snerd
- cyde has a girlfriend, Amy Wilder, whom he uses to spy on The Ghosts and Icarus.
- cyde lives in New Orlens [sic]
- cyde has/will have/has ever had a NowLive account
- cyde got kicked off NowLive and is now on MySpace (Like everyone in the WORLD isn't)
- cyde "stole" Becky's avatar and, with the help of Gamer and Quiverwing did something to Ianthe Yario's SFMB account, "forging" a profile and posting scurrilous lies about Becky and otherwise "framing" her.
- cyde is a good target for incredibly bad poetry
- cyde has "aunts" in his "panz"
- cyde has Mariah Carey's pantyhose in his nose
- cyde has "red hot rockets" in his pockets
- cyde had an idea, but it died of loneliness.
- cyde has a list of evil mortimer snerd allies who do his nefarious bidding, including but not limited to
- Great Uncle Radomil
- Bliss Ticks
- Brother Grimace
- Crazy Nutso
- Ms. Kitty
- Amy Wilder
- Napoleon Bonaparte
On the other hand, though, you DID get 10% right. And I guess that's saying something, isn't it? Isn't it?
And no, I'm not going to say what the 10% is. That would take a lot of the fun and adventure out of this little game, and I'm curious to see what these mental deficients will come up with next.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Ok, I think Becky has finally reached the point in her aspergers and paranoia where mental entropy has hit full swing. She and her "friends" (sockpuppets) are finally COMPLETELY LOSING IT and it's fucking great! I mean come on. Quiverwing and her admin powers on SFMB?? Jesus.
In all, it's gone better than I could have ever hoped.
Every time we have choices in life, it's sort of like a fork in a road with infinite prongs, if you think about it. Each choice takes you down a different road. These assholes seem to delight in unwittingly taking the road which leads to the maximum possible lulz for me. All they had to do is stop being such irritating douchebags and let the matter drop, but for some reason they refuse. It's like watching someone with schizophrenia spiral further and further off the deep end.
It's honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Does this make me evil? Who gives a fuck?
Am I a dick for loving every second of this? You betcha.
The best part is that I'm no longer the only person doing this shit to them anymore. Hell. I've stopped actively doing anything except watching and laughing... and boy am I laughing long and loud.
Ok, I'm a completely venomous monster who is rotting on the inside. I admit it. At least I admit it. :)
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Also with school winding down I'll have more time to start shit on the boards, except when I'm in Mexico, but I know there are others out there that I can rely on to start shit too. I was going to take my laptop, but how sad would it be if I was sitting on the beaches of Playa Del Carmen posting on a message board dedicated to a cartoon that hasn't been aired in years?
I never realized that vaya con dios means "go with god", I always thought it was a totally radical way of saying "seeya". I guess it's cause the first time I heard it was while watching Point Break and I was too distracted by sexy man abs to really consider it. No, this has nothing to do with anything, I'm just thinking about Keanu Reeves in a wet suit and my brain is coming up with filler to type.
As quiverwing pointed out on PPMB people in the USA are fat. So all y'all guys from the USA, I think this was her way of saying that you're not good enough for her. Which is totally true, but sometimes it's just kinda bitchy to point it out. Which I totally approve of by the way.
Um.. lesseee Greybird is still a pompous ass, and daria fandom is still pretty much the same as always. The Dariacon is coming up soon, to many people's reliefs I probably won't go cause it'll be a pain in the ass with school and i just gave my free plane ticket to my mom. Plus Jak isn't going, so I won't have anybody to molest. Just kidding Jak, tell your mom to calm down.
/end totally random poorly worded post
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Don't damn me
When I speak a piece of mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
- Guns N’ Roses
First off, I’d like to say that I’m forced to do this thing and they told me that Robin Sena will hand my IP addy to the police if I refuse!! Just kidding. You know, I was the first person who was offered to co-blog with cynigal here. The idea was fun, but then I remembered my moderator duties and declined the offer. But then I thought “What does that have to do with this blog?” Well, absolutely nothing!! This blog is in no way associated with any other place, and people are allowed to have a little fun once in a while. For the lulz, ribz and great justice!!! Actually, no, I just need the entertainment. So, here we go…
So, I was off the internet for about 5 days. I was being tortured with accounting exams (I think I did quite well though!!!). And what do I find? Well, there’s Robin Sena in a once again lame attempt to prove she lives in this condo with a bunch of losers who like to refer to themselves as “The Ghosts”. And to quote, ahem, Ronin Sena, "Now you may be wondering, "Why The Ghosts?" Simple--they say a ghost is a spirit that rises from the dead, and with the way fandom, including Daria fandom may be dying, it seems fitting we name ourselves The Ghosts, so we can lead the resurrection of fandom and Daria fandom to what it used to be. So now you know." Yeah, we also know that you cannot even keep your sockpuppets straight, Robin. You have to give Ronin some credit though: "she” wants to lead the resurrection of Daria fandom!!! She cares so much about the fandom that she hangs around with 10000000 sockpuppets thinking she fools everyone, while the rest of us know she’s a fucking retard!!! She’s probably locked in a mental institution somewhere between the US and Britain.
Latest news! According to Bliss Ticks, the curvature of a rainbow reminds one of the holy RIBZ!!!! Thanks for letting us know!! Look to the ribz, people. Look to the ribz.
In other news, friends are not supposed to point out spelling mistakes. This is the way you can tell if someone’s your true friend. If they don’t point out your spelling mistakes, it’s because they truly love you!! But be warned, if you point out a spelling mistake to someone, they’ll try to make YOU look like an idiot!! And only because you had the courage to point it out!!!! Here's the philosophy behind it: “If s/he points out a spelling mistake, s/he’s an idiot because s/he’s trying to make ME look like an idiot!!” Just fucking pathetic. So, that’s how life works, my friends. Just look to the ribz...I mean, rainbow.
Yep…I did it. I guess I should be locked up for pointing out a spelling mistake outside Creative Writing. The fact of the matter is that now people will think I’m cynigal’s clone for that... not that I’m bothered since cynigal’s awesome. (AN: You know you’re awesome, baby!!) But, what THAT tells you is how full of shitty gossip this fandom is. First you have those lame Flame Wars that people take so seriously. I mean, come on!! Would you take Ronin Sena seriously?!! Although, Robin does a great job at keeping people entertained anywhere. We just love to feed the troll. Amirite? It gets worse though, then you have people wondering about how many times Skittles and Micka have had sex since he came to visit. Not that she’d mind, since we all know she’s very open about her sex life (even during those months when there’s not really much of a sex life there)…but BETS in the chat room??!!! Who would’ve thought Derek and Brandon…
Nah, I’m just kidding. But yeah, that’s how gossip works. I should know – after all, I’m the Quinn of Daria fandom. And I didn’t even need to show naked pictures of myself!!! Maybe I must admit I am a fucking hot devil!! Just not very photogenic!!! Hell, I even outnumbered Quinn!! She had the 3 J’s: Joey, Jeffy and ….um, doesn’t matter. I’ve even had….lemme see…..1, 2….6 guys fighting over me at once!!! Those days were fun. Although, I give starmeshelion back. Just way too fucking creepy. “So, tell me, Stars. Whenever you see Stacy on a Daria episode, does your heart start beating faster and you start getting all enthusiastic and excited and nervous and your palms get sweaty, and you try so hard not to do anything embarrassing around her, even though you know she can’t see you?? Yeah, I thought so…”
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
With all the crying going on in that thread, I bet they thought I forgot about them. Baaaaaaw!
Page saved because we know of Becky's historical revisionism. She'll DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING. (Edit: She already has)
But you know me... I'm a mortimer snerd! It's a conspiracy! It's blackmail! It's all one big hate machine and everyone is out to get you and your shitcan board with all of the intolerance contained therein! You never stopped to consider why people protested you, only that they did... and you didn't like it!!!
As long as you acted in a manner which was fair and just, I guess it's ok.
What it is... is just (serious) business, really. Nothing personal.
Hope this helps, Becky. Just wanted you to know I still love you... and I can troll you any time I want. :-)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
She and her multiple personalities are discussing ronin again. And somebody thinks I'm a bad person. Awww. And they dis the blandom blog! It's not a place to continue flame wars! It's a place to comment on stuff that happening in the Dariaverse.
Monday, September 17, 2007
I took the liberty of pummelling my poor friend with questions, which I shall repost here, followed by the email in question. Of course, I'm not giving the spammer any free advertising, so the url has been removed, as has the email address of my friend. You may, however, do what you wish with the spammer's email address.
How well do you know this gamefreak person?
My most extended interaction was in an SFMB thread about handheld video game platforms in flame wars.
Does this person have any reason to believe that you are a friend, or will respond to this solicitation with good will?
I'm too lazy to flame him? Also, I sometimes answer his threads in a serious manner even though they are in the wrong place entirely.
So you are saying that this person would have no reason to believe that you would personally leap to join his/her new board, and thus would have no reason to email you an invitation to join it?
I'm saying that I have no relationship with gamefreak on a personal level and very barely at a casual one, even by internet standards.
Would you consider this solicitation spam?
If spam is a defined as unsolicited advertisements, then yes, he might as well be asking for money for his chinese viagra substitutes. But, unlike most spam, there was actual emotion to it. Was the guy pleading with me, with puppy dog eyes?
Will you be accepting gamefreak's invitation?
Naw, not worth the time to click the link.
The email in question:
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:06:59 -0700
Subject: A new Daria message board.
Hi, It's me, a fomer member of SFMB also known as gamefreak back then. Well since I left I decided to make a message board of my own and only have four members so far. If you want to join here is the site.
Give it some thought.
If you too have received this email, or have an opinion on the matter, please tell us about it in detail in the comments forum.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
There's a recurring theme in Daria fanfic I've noticed. Namely, the "hot Daria" theme. Quick, count how many fanfics mention that Daria's really a hot chick in disguise or have a character making the observance that she's totally hot. Go on. I'll wait.
Back yet? Yeah, there's a shitload. Seriously y'all. In a page ripped straight from She's All That, most fanfic authors (including some of the more revered ones) like to reassure everyone that Daria's really really pretty and everyone else is stupid for not seeing it.
Um, helloooo? Were we even watching the same show? It's like these guys (because yep, they're mostly male) look at Daria and go, "Oooooooh I bet SHE would have been friends with me in high school!!!!!!!1111!!!11!!" and then their little primal lizard brain part goes "Friend girl= girlfriend=sexxxxxxx!!!eleventy!!!" but we have a problem. Daria's not considered attractive. But she might sleep with them. So in their minds, these people have to pay her the ultimate complement any man might pay a woman (in his mind) and suddenly make her attractive so that she'll be a good heroine and somebody who is desired because if she's desired, he can want her and not be totally weird.
But why does she HAVE to be attractive to be a heroine? Shouldn't she make a better heroine if she's unattractive? You know, by making her a more relateable character with depth and such rather than eye candy? Why do these guys think that a girl can't be a good character without being attractive to men? It's a hallmark of this community that we have a whole fuck load of "enlightened" men claiming that they're TOTALLY in touch with their femininity and great feminist men while not actually succeeding at it. To wit: If you're an actual feminist, you don't need to pretty up a girl to make her likeable. She can be perfectly likeable without being sexy and, if anything, that's undermining the actual point of the show. You know, that thing with the characters that we supposedly all enjoy? Yeah, the thing that had the pretty colors and music.
And, not forgetting where we are, you're all a bunch of fucking douchebags and whores. Yeah that's right, I mean YOU.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
1 : a system under which an authority undertakes to supply needs or regulate conduct of those under its control in matters affecting them as individuals as well as in their relations to authority and to each otherDaddy and Mommy know what's best for us. We would be wise to remember this, lest we make any decisions which cause us harm.
I'm fairly certain that it was a hard decision to make, but in the end concern for our wellbeing as people won out. Had we been allowed to make the decision ourselves, well... who knows what may have happened?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Top 10 Signs You’re Too Pathetic To Go On Living
- You check the SFMB/PPMB more than twice a day. Sometimes you just sit there hitting refresh over and over until a new post shows up and get as excited as a crackhead finding one more rock.
- You really really hate people named Tom.
- You have named your child/pet/car/houseplant after a Daria character.
- You use Daria quotes in real life conversations. Sometimes you even manipulate conversations just so you can interject your favorite line to make you sound smart.
- You have an unnatural sexual fear regarding penguins that you don’t fully understand.
- You think that there is the slightest chance in hell that Daria will ever go to DVD.
- The high point of your week is reading RLobinkse’s neverending fanfictions. And the worst part is that the stories are more exciting/interesting than your real life.
- You constantly look for things to post on the boards just to see yourself post. Such as you were at the mall and there were two girls named Stacy and Tiffany eating lunch together. You also get excited about anything that you can somehow relate to Daria or somebody on the boards. Such as, you were driving down the street and you saw a store called “Jane’s”. Or you saw a girl wearing glasses and combat boots.
- You have ever dated/fucked/masturbated to anybody from the boards.
- You still devote any amount of time to a MTV show that went off the air 7 years ago.
Since you’re too pathetic to go on living, here are the top ten daria related ways to kill yourself:
- Strangle yourself with a shoelace from a combat boot
- Eat only frozen microwavable lasagna
- Converse with a cheerleader and jock until your head explodes
- Get stranded in a hurricane
- Fall asleep while driving
- Pay somebody to run up and down your spine with sharpened track spikes
- Spend time standing under goal posts
- Pierce your brain
- Overdose on psychotropic berries
- Walk down the street and burst into flames
- "I was like Daria in High School"
Sure—you were a hot-but-hiding-it teen girl with refined literary tastes who used her sharp tongue to back up her principles and who had a good friend. The people who say this were and are unpopular dorks with bookshelves full of stuff Daria would consider trash and no guts face-to-face, which is why they're all the more aggressive on the internets. The men who say this would have been Upchuck if they had the suavity; the women, wallflowers who wanted to be bitches.
Ever notice that nobody ever says they were like Jane? That's because there's a simple bullshit test against it: ask to see their art.
Not even nonamejane is like Daria. Especially nonamejane, because she hates college.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
10. Greybird gets a turd up his ass and stomps out while ranting about how nobody takes fandom or the dariacon seriously and don't contribute anything worthwhile. Proceeds to insult everybody all the while complaining that mean people should be kicked out of fandom. Once he leaves everybody at the Dariacon will make fun of him and there will be a Greybird imitation contest.
9. RLobinkse tries to moderate the Dariacon by deleting people and censoring what they say. Gets frustrated when there isn't a button he can push to moderate real life. Realizing he doesn't have any power, jumps off the balcony. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the con is being held on the first floor.
8. EA Smith shows up and then quits the con after I make fun of him because I catch his sister having sex with Donald Duck on the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyworld. For some reason this really upsets Cincgreen and Ruthless Bunny.
7. Docforbin intermittently gives us up to the second information about his hometown. When people tell him to STFU he will stick out his tongue and say "I do what I want, I'm just like Luann."
6. Lapdance the cat runs away and joins the Disney Cast.
5. Jak will be molested by gay people. Because his parents let him meet people off the internet, and everybody knows that people on the internet like to molest 28 year olds. If he's lucky, the gay people will be women.
4. All pre-arranged discussions will end in people talking about penguins and making strange smiley faces at each other.
3. Skittlefarts will have sex with at least 5 people, not necessarily at the same time.
2. Richard Lobinske, Brother Grimace and others will sit there waiting desperately for people who want to listen to them read their fanfictions. However, people would rather listen to Docforbin's whereverhelives NY updates.
1. Everybody will walk into the con, stare at each other awkwardly for 10 minutes then go back to their rooms to check the PPMB.
...but it's a harmless kind of annoying. I even think it's funny, myself. Obviously not Becky, though.
So it all started with the harmless subject of barbecue ribs - something everyone who isn't a zombie enjoys.
So, he got a little overzealous about it. No harm, no foul, right? If you have a recent copy of phpBB (or aren't using an ad-riddled create-your-own-board schmuckfest...) you know you have the option of blocking users' posts if they annoy you. This gives most people a much-needed respite from Bliss Ticks.
Ok, so he spelled it 'ribz' instead of 'ribs'. Big deal, right? WRONG. You are forgetting the one sacred tenet of The Internet: It's serious business.
So, long story short, the thread gets locked, posts get deleted, Becky cites as a reason that "Bliss Ticks might run off her members." Bliss Ticks gets upset and leaves.
Funny, no new members came and one posting member leaves. Bliss Ticks had actually contributed a (relatively) good bit to the forum (in such high brow subforums as "Art for Art's Sake" - a name which immediately warns the viewer that he or she is in the presence of TRUE culture and to tread softly.). Considering the entire message board has all of 15 members, it needed all the help it could get.
So I joined and spoke out in the "Gripes" forum about the injustice of locking posts, deleting posts and basically raining on the parade of one eccentric little guy.
Thread got locked.
I did a 50 Hitler Post in response, again in the "Gripes" forum, daring Becky to leave it up if she had the courage to accept criticism.
Thread got edited.
I told her, "Fuck you, I'm going to boycott your shitty board."
I got banned. Banned for being a square peg in Becky's round, disgusting hole.
So here we are, ladies and gentlemen. I took screencaps of everything for posterity. Let me know if you want to see them and I'll put up a gallery.
In the end, Becky asked me this question: "Would Thea and Kara put up with such rubbish, if you did that to them? Not a chance!"
The obvious answer? You aren't Thea or Kara. A long way from it, in fact. Love or hate them, they're actually decent admins of their respective boards. I wouldn't do it to them in the first place.
Bottom line? Boycott Becky's board. She wrote about fifty percent of the posts herself, lulz! It isn't worth it to cater to this kind of garbage.
Update: It looks like Becky has spent the last twelve hours on damage control on her board, deleting and editing posts and altering threads in an inept and fickle-fingered attempt to spin what happened in her favor and the rest of her spare time dreaming up "witticisms" with her sock puppet Inathe Yario to go in the comments section of this blog. Fucking pathetic. Why the two members of her board put up with her historical revisionism is a mystery to all.
lol: I'm done oppressing Becky. She and her sock puppets may feel free to continue posting their inane comments to this blog without fear of further deletion. Funny how a bunch of halfwits started weighing in about how the deleted posts seemed to be a harbinger of the apocalypse for this blog. The one thing they didn't realize, which they WOULD have realized if they had read and paid attention: I did it for the lulz.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Has anyone else noticed the almost overpowering wave of 'stupid' which has hit the fandom in recent months? You have? Thought so.
Originally, it was just Becky, and she was (more than) enough. Then came Game Freak... and Ricky... and R.Whitley -- a cavalcade of sock puppets, seemingly in place to piss everyone off... and doing a good job of it.
The focus, however, is on Becky/Inathe Yario who, I have on VERY good authority, is the same person, despite protestations that it is not.
You see, the problem Becky has is that's it's simply too stupid to present a convincing or compelling argument to counter the allegations of sock puppetry. I think the inbreeding in its family is so deep and sustained that by the time Becky was shat out, the brain had become, essentially, a vestigial organ, evidenced in her breathtaking participation in threads such as this, this and this (and by extention, this).
In a post on Flame Wars, I compared Becky Yario to "the van Gogh of stupid". I'm beginning to realize how appropriate this comparison is as time goes by and more posts are made.
UPDATE: Quiverwing wins.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Well let's see, what's the gossip? Blistex appears to have a multiple personality disorder, if his posts in various voices in Flame Wars on the fluff are anything to go by. I mean shit, I'm the queen of reinvention, but this is freaking ridiculous. At least his current voice is just boring as shit, rather than randomly violent like the last one was. I'm taking a pool on the next voice to show up - I'm calling pompous outrage seasoned lightly with watered-down vitriol. All bets should be placed in the comments section or at Flame Wars on SFMB.
Lemme see, what else is exciting? Nothing. Oh well, I guess that's the way Daria fandom has always been - dull & harmless with the occassional shitfight just in case you started thinking of pissing off to more exciting fandoms or something. Nothing like familiarity, huh?
*I can has edit? Cool!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Apparently the unfunny joke is "continuing or acerbating" a situation. A situation which, might I add, is more than likely one that R-Lo just flat out invented to give himself an excuse to be paternalistic again. I guess when your wife wears the pants in the relationship, you need to have some measure of control somewhere, so I guess molesting children and being a big shot on an internet message board will do. SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!
Is that fair for me to say? Probably not. Do I give a fuck that it isn't fair? Definitely not. Is it true? I doubt it - it's a fucking JOKE. (now watch, the internet detectives will be called out to investigate in preparation of an internet lolsuit for libel because I said that R-Lo likes to touch little boys. El Oh El - SFB.)
Anyway, my only advice to you, the plebes, is to proceed with caution. There's a new sheriff in town and he won't hesitate to let you know when the jokes told in HIS jurisdiction are funny or not, even if he wouldn't know 'funny' if it ran up and raped his face.
What an asshole, gee that's too bad.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I was luxuriating in the kidney-shaped jacuzzi in my private suite at the Bellagio while Stacy Rowe worked magic with her mouth on my swollen member when Trent Lane interrupted us.
"Mr. MacWhatever, you have a call."
Stacy had just begun an accelerando on the way to a final cadence, and so it was difficult to reply. "TTTRReeenTTTTT, CA-Ca-CA-CAN'T Yyyou SEE WE'RE BUSY HERE?"
Trent replied with the only phrase that would guarantee my attention. "nonamejane is on the phone."
nonamejane! Business would have to be combined with pleasure. "BBRRIING ME THE GODDAMN PHONE ALREADY THEN!"
I heard him turn and walk away just as Stacy changed tempo from molto vivace to presto and I hoped her virtuoso performance would be concluded before having to take a phone call from her eminence, but just as the major moment seized me, I found a phone thrust into my ear.
YYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH?" I screamed.
"Still entertaining—or being entertained by—the talented Ms. Rowe, eh Scissors?" There was no mistaking that voice. nonamejane may write like some saucy, hard-done-by-life grrrl, but elocution will out; nonamejane is a young lady of some breeding, and about as far from mal élevée as Lady Catherine de Bourghs fancied herself from Elizabeth Bennet; nnj even pronounces the final t in didn't. But for all her sophistication, she was not sheltered, as her next outburst proved.
"Scissors, Daria Fandom is in danger of becoming Daria Blandom! Where there was once a surfeit of knaves, fools, and churls, there is now a paucity! Against whom shall I sharpen my talons, if not these?" She paused for emphasis and then quoted Pope's "Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot":You think this cruel? Take it for a rule:
No creature smarts so little as a fool.
In my best imitation of Dick Powell trying to sound like Humphrey Bogart, I said, "I'm on it, babe."
"Stop trying to sound like Sam Spade," nnj replied. "It doesn't suit you. Now make haste!" she enjoined, and rang off.
Stacy held out a bathrobe for me, licking a bit of my essence, undiluted by rain water or flourine, from the hollow beneath her lower lip. "How was that, Mr. MacWhatever?" She needed to know that she pleased me, but I had pressing business.
"We've gotta save the pillow talk for some other time, sweetheart," I said, strapping my rod beneath the robe. "I gotta job to do, and it can't wait!"
Trent sullenly held the door for me. I felt sorry for him at times like this: bad enough that nnj had broken up Mystik Spiral when she brought Nick and Jessie under her spell, but when his sister succumbed—but here he was, my house boy, which meant he had something of the stiff upper lip about him. Somehow, he understood what it was to serve your betters, and here he was: they also serve who can't stand serving those who serve the one who seduced their sister into Sapphic love, or something like that.
After a brief embarrassment in the hall, I got some clothes on and dashed out of my room and through the private area for the high rollers, where I collided with Bill Bennett, who was pumping $1000 chips into a slot machine. The slot machine looked happy, but Bill didn't.
"Where are your manners, Snips?" he snarled. "You gotta get the pull on the lever just right—"
"Can't talk!" I cried. "The game is afoot! Loved your book!"
Finally, I stepped out into the pouring Vegas rain, stuck a hand-rolled cigarette in my mouth, and searched my pockets for Velma's number. If anybody was hip to the lost souls and losers in this town, it was Velma. She'd seem Down By Law at least fifteen times.
"Are you just happy to see me, or did you just buy some tube socks?" she smirked.
"No time for pillowtalk, babe," I purred, removing her earlobe from my lower front teeth. "I need a line on some paying customers."
Just when you think a dame is hardboiled, she crumbles on you. Her eyes went wider than Britney Spears' thighs. "Murder?" she whispered.
"Sure," I replied. Why give her any more nightmares, I figured. She had been a waitress, and a good one, until a Samoan lawyer propositioned her and ended up taking a pie from her with a machete. "But don't worry, you're out of the picture. Person I'm looking for is not in that tropical island mood when he's got blood on the brain."
"I don't get a lot of return business, Snips, you know that." She tugged at the hem of her pleated skirt and pulled her green jacket around herself more tightly, as if a cold wind were blowing from the north.
"But you get some, yeah?"
She nodded. Her eyes, usually enlarged by her coke-bottle-bottom thick glasses, were distant and afraid.
"Any of 'em stop coming recently? Say they were getting a real life?"
Her face lit up like a pinball machine. "Yeah—one guy, big, round, kept on wanting to play this game where he gets me a soda."
Jackpot! I was halfway across town before I realized I hadn't gotten his address from Velma. She had a customer, but she left the straight dope on a Post-ItTM note on the mailbox down the block.
It was an address on the Upper East Side. Good thing I was wearing my wingtips.
As brownstones go, it couldn't have cost more than $15 million and it probably only had the one ballroom. I felt for the poor deprived soul who had to make do there.
"Come in out of the rain, my boy, you must be soaked!" He was wearing silk-pajamas, a fez, and carried a horsetail fly switch. He led me through a kitchen where a sullen, well-muscled young man rolled a Player's Navy Cut cigarette idly between the fingers of one hand while picking at a salad with another. "'Sup." he said.
"'Aight." I replied.
He nodded approvingly and continued to pick at his salad. "You must forgive Chester," my host told me.
"Do I look like a priest?"
He laughed. "No sir—you look like a Daria fan and a friend of Velma's." He went to his amply stocked bar. "Brandy?"
"Never met her."
He shook his head. "A pity," he said, pouring himself a generous Armangac. "Now, I suppose that you, Mr—Mr&mdash"
"MacWhatever," I replied, lighting the handrolled cig I got out of my pocket in Vegas.
"Ah! Is it Scissors MacWhatever? A pleasure to be host to...how shall I say this? The author of such exquisitely obscure works. And so few of them at that—one must consider the œurve of, say, a Pierre Menard before finding an author whose catalog is so similarly small."
"Flattery will get you everywhere," I said, spreading my legs. "And you are—"
"My name is Gutman—Kaspar Gutman, at your service." He sat down on a short chaise longue. "I suppose you are here about my precipitous and, shall we say, uncouth departure from Daria fandom? Well, what is it Heraclitus says? ψυσις—"
"&phiυσις," I corrected.
"Eh? Ah, yes, forgive me—&phiυσις κρι&piτεσθαι &phiιλει," he went on. "Nature loves to conceal itself for its own ends. My boy, my interest in the misadventures of Ms. Morgendorffer as she navigates the foibles of a world demonstrably cruder than even our own was only a means to an end. I was looking for a community, one filled with eccentrics with occult—in the true sense of hidden, not the vulgar sense of magical—knowledge." He opened a book of stamps. "Does this give you an idea of what I'm seeking?" Using a pair of glittering zircon-encrusted tweezers, he took from its sleeve on the page a stamp that appeared to be a mint specimen of a stamp of Warren G. Harding—except instead of reading UNITED STATES POSTAGE about the profile of that unfortunate man, it read UNITED STATES HOSTAGE.
"This is a forgery—I mean a forgery of the original forgery," Gutman said, likcing his lips. "If you recognize this, you'll understand—"
"The lost irregularities from the stamp collection of Pierce Inverarity," I said, my voice all hushed tones. "The most famous collection of forged stamps in history."
"Yes—lot 49, as we philatelists know it from the name of he auction lot it composed, and which mysteriously disappeared, along with the executrix of Mr. Inverarity's estate."
"But why Daria fandom?" I asked, and realized the answer to the question at once.
"How is it you hide something? Well, Mr. MacWhatever, you hide it in plain sight. Something in plain sight is taken for granted, only partially understood, indeed, only paritally known. It is soon taken for a myth, and the real traces of its continued existence are taken for parts of another whole, or even unrelated aspects of diverse pheneomena—you see? The only people who would have the facts would not know their true significance. Those given to drama might say such knowledge drives men mad, but in fact, it is the other way around: the people who notice such things would be odd, eccentric, peculiar from the start. Oh, Mr. MacWhatever, I've haunted the margins of society for many years looking for the last piece of the puzzle, and it was among the Daria fans I found it—come and see..."
I followed him towards an archway in the sitting room covered by a heavy velvet curtain. With a grand gesture, he drew the curtain aside and bid me enter.
It was dark. I knew that collectors of drawings and photographs had to keep them in low light to preserve them, and I thought I would only get to glimpse these storied stamps by some dim diffuse light, if any. But suddenly the room was lit by a harsh florescent glare—
—And before me stood Stacy Rowe, gun in hand, and a mad expression on her face.
"You should have trusted your first instincts, Scissors," she chortled. "You thought nonamejane was losing her edge by making you an author at the Daria Blandom Blog, but your vanity convinced you that wasn't so."
"I'm sorry, Scissors," Gutman said. "I could have loved you like a son, but you know too much already. Never mind it makes no sense to you—we mustn't take chances."
My mouth was dry. "So the stamp collection—"
"Is of no moment to me, or to Ms. Rowe, or to nonamejane." He paused. "Or, for that matter, Velma."
"Right," I said. "So this—this—"
"This is goodbye, Scissors," laughed Stacy, and the next thing I knew—
Tom looked up from the story on the computer and said:
Friday, August 10, 2007
Bliss Ticks--- Cause he's like an inside joke that's funny for a while, then not so funny, then sad.
Becky-etc--- This really goes without saying.
MJ Pollard---I picture him being just like the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.... without the witty remarks.
Greybird--- Hypocrite. Yeah, I'm a fucking ass, but at least I admit it!
Angelinhel--- Can't correctly spell "hell".
RLobinske--- Anybody who uses their first initial and last name is a pretentious fuck who gets off on having small power over people.
Brother Grimace--- Creepy, obsessed with my sex life and sex in general. Tends to play the race card. Cries when somebody beats him at a game he started.
CharlieGirl--- Thinks sweeping is a challenging activity. Brooms probably have a higher IQ.
Gearhead--- Hasn't been around for a while, but I remember not liking him, though I don't remember why.
smk--- Appears to have a fear of vowels. Or perhaps is using initials. I hate initials. Spell it out beyotches.
My shit list changes daily.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
The whole thing goes full circle. What do you think the "R" means? Ricky!
UPDATE: R.Whitley has added a sigline: "a.k.a. "gamefreak"", leading one to wonder why it bothered creating a goodbye thread or re-registering... or why it didn't just use the old name.
The convoluted bullshit explanation (see also, "lie") can be found here.
UPDATE AGAIN: After a thoroughly unimpressive six day run, the account and posts of R.Whitley have been DELETED.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Random ppmb drone: You're EVIL!! You are epitome of bad and need psychological help cause you don't like killing squirrels but say sarcastic things to people.
Brother Grimace: You guys clearly want to have sex with each other
Me: BG, you need to get laid and stop focusing on my sex life
Brother Grimace: You're EVIL!! You are epitome of bad and need psychological help cause you don't like killing squirrels but say sarcastic things to people.
Perhaps if I go out and kill squirrels for fun, these two will STFU?
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Bliss Ticks- He started out ok, he was kinda funny and nice enough. Then he started getting weird. He started that stupid "I win" thing which was funny for like... well, it was never funny. Then that stupid emoticon he always uses. I hate emoticons anyway, I consider them the lowest form of communication possible. Now he seems to be on rollercoaster of being either a regular asshole or being a self righteous asshole who calls other people assholes.
smk- before yesterday I had no idea who this person was. I still don't, but apparently he knows who I am. He has jumped on the "nonamejane is ruining fandom" bandwagon so recently created by Cincgreen and his fucking bitch of a wife. When asked for proof to back up his claims, he floundered and went the oh so mature route of "i don't have time for this" and sarcastically said that I am the epitome of good to end the fight he could not finish.
Gamefreak aka Becky aka Ricky- Uh... it was bad enough when there was just one of them. Assdiva and her aliases can't spell, can't speak, post the dumbest shit possible, and should just be banned. They aren't the amusing type of stupid, just stupid.
I just realized that there are far too many people that annoy me to list all of them.
Gamefreak has quit the SMFB for some reason that is apparently my fault. The only thing I can think of is that he came into flame wars, and I flamed him...once. Thank god his alias Ricky joined right before he quit, or we would have been rid of him. Oh,
and good news! I got a PM from Gamefreak that said "Just wanted you to know that I forgive you, but I'm not Becky or Ronin all right. :wink: Don't be mad with this PM message" Thank god he has forgiven me. I couldn't sleep last night because of it. And rest assured Gamefreak, I am not mad with the PM message. I would be mad at you perhaps, if you were real and not the figment of Assdiva's imagination.
The Daria Fandom Blog has closed. I'm sure we're all devastated. There have too many recent dramatic "oh I can't take the horrors of this fandom anymore" episodes. MJ Pollard, EA Smith, Gamefreak and Cincgreen and Greybird. Unfortunately MJ Pollard is still hanging around, and Greybird came into an IRC chat last weekend, though left right away. I don't know about Cincgreen, beyond his wonderful summation of me on his blog, I don't think we've ever interacted before. Apparently middle aged fat men have little else to do than be melodramatic on Daria message boards/blogs. You know they'll all be back, and then once again bring up how they can't believe they've come back to the horrible backstabbing world of Daria fandom and how they can't believe they gave the rest of us urchins another chance to be associated with their smug asses.
Bliss Ticks posted something about how there shouldn't be "hit lists". Because he is too stupid to realize when somebody is joking.
uh... more gossip later, with witty comments next time, when I actually read the boards!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Uh... there aren't any.
Feel free to submit posts, gossip, thoughts, flames to me via e-mail at email@example.com. I may or may not post them, depending on if I like you or not.